Embracing Life With a Child-Like Wonder

Let me say how overwhelmed I have been by all the calls, emails, and comments left in response to my post. Your words of encouragement have meant a great deal to me. Indeed, I feel loved.

The loss of a loved one is never easy, yet it is something that we all must deal with at some point in our lives. All of this has caused me to think a great deal about those who have gone before me and about what their counsel would be regarding how to deal with loss. I particularly seem to be able to hear my father's voice and he is telling me one thing - "Do what everyone has to do in the face of loss. Embrace life and go on living even while you greive and while you remember." So that is the task that I have set for myself this week. I will grieve and I will remember and I will honor those who have gone before me by EMBRACING LIFE! In capital letters!

As is often the case, whenever I want to learn how to approach life, I only have to observe the children around me. Children are so good at embracing life. All you have to do is take a walk around the block with a two year old to be reminded of this. My oldest son, Matt, was quite possibly the most exuberant child I ever knew. I will never forget one walk we took through the park when he was a toddler. As usual, he was ahead of me running at full speed when suddenly he came to a screeching halt, knelt down, carefully parted the blades of grass, and picked up a tiny pebble. He carefully placed the pebble in the palm of his hand and ran back to me exclaiming, "Look, Momma, see the pretty rock!" I will never forget the sight of his face, glowing with sheer wonder. Children notice everything; I don't even know how he saw the pebble buried in the grass. But he did and for him the world stopped as he discovered and shared this tiny bit of God's creation with me. He was embracing life fully and I am so thankful that he shared his joy with me.

Recently I came across a wonderful book that reminds us of the importance of embracing life. The book, by Patti Digh, is entitled life is a verb. I particularly enjoyed the story of one man who asked a group of five year olds how many of them could sing . As only five year olds can do, they all felt they were excellent singers and every hand shot up immediately! He asked how many could dance - he got the same response. Painters? All of them, of course!

Later, he visited a group of college students and asked the same questions. Sadly, this time no one raised their hands.

In response to this story, Patti Digh asked, "What happened in those years between five and eighteen, to our sense of joy and possibility and personal command of the universe?" Good question. I have to ask myself what happened to my personal command of my universe. At some point we mask ourselves and lose our self confidence. Maybe it's our fear of ridicule that causes us to wall ourselves off. Maybe it's our fear of appearing childish that prevents us from allowing ourselves to still be surprised by life. After all, what would others say if you were to run through the park shouting with glee when you spotted a pebble?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could approach adult life with the same enthusiasm that children do? Just image it. "Hooray! A two hour meeting to review policy and procedure!" Well, maybe we don't have to go that far. But perhaps we can find a way to give voice to the astonishment and joy of our inner child. Why don't you join me this week in the following exercise.

1. Allow yourself to be inspired by the following texts:

Psalm 118:24

Proverbs 8: 30-31

2. Journal, think about, or share with a friend five things from your childhood that brought you to a screeching halt with a feeling of sheer joy. Close your eyes and recall how you felt when encountering these things.

For me, I would have to include butterflies, dandelions, sand dollars, fireflies, and oil tankers at sea. As a child I spent many joyous hours chasing colorful butterflies, blowing the "angel hair" from dandelions, feeling the sun on my shoulders while digging for sand dollars, trying to catch fireflies on a warm summer night, and wondering where the oil tankers were sailing (I was sure that my Uncle Norman was aboard one of the ships and was sailing from some exotic port to see me). Little else existed in the world when engaged in these activities. I felt nothing but awe, pure joy, and best of all there were no expectations as to how I should act in response to these experiences.

3. Journal, think about, or share with a friend five things in your adult world that would bring forth a shout of joy if you were not afraid of ridicule.

I am putting on my list laptop computers (aren't they amazing?), golden retrievers (they are so devoted), a really great handbag (need I say more?), my lemon zester (yes, my lemon zester!), and dandelions (still love to see angel hair floating through the air). Resolve to act like a five year old. Everytime you see one of the items on your list, say out loud, "Wow! A _______!" For me that would be, "WOW, A LEMON ZESTER!" If that is too embarrassing for you, then at least think it with as much enthusiasm as possible. Think it in CAPITAL LETTERS! This week remember what it is like to be a child. Embrace life with child-like wonder!

My blessing for you this week: May you journey to the place where joy and wonder are born. May you dwell there immersed in the joy of God's creation. May you come out dancing and live a life filled with wonder and delight!

I hope some of you will take the time to share your "joy lists" with the rest of us. I would love to know what brings joy into your life. If you would like to do so, please add them as a comment below.

Thanks for taking the time to forward this link to your family and friends. My post last week was read by people as far away as Canada and Indonesia! Let's see if we can keep the momentum going.

God bless each of you. My life is better because of you. I'll post again next week.

"You will call, won't you?" - Dealing with the suicide of a loved one

Opening: God, I pray that you would use me to reach out to others in pain. May my ears be opened to hear when others cry out for help. May my presence be a balm to their wounds. Give me the strength and the courage, O Lord, to look into the faces of those whose hearts ache, to touch their lives, and to show them something of your love and mercy.

Text: John 12: 1-8

This week I have been thinking a great deal about how emotionally charged the sense of touch can be. The sense of touch is powerful. So much emotion can be conveyed through touch – an angry slap, a loving caress, a reassuring squeeze of the hand. People yearn to be touched, but how often do we turn away from those in need of that basic human connection. Often we are fearful when we see others in pain. We feel inadequate to help them because we do not know what to say; but perhaps we do not need to say anything. Sometimes a touch can convey to others what we are unable to say with our words.

I am reminded of John’s account of the woman who anointed Jesus with perfume. The crucifixion of Christ was imminent and he was aware of his fate. Though surrounded by friends and disciples, he must have felt an impending doom and a sense of loneliness. Those around him were busy and could not see his distress. They were taking care of the business at hand, preparing for the Passover meal and preparing for the upcoming celebration. Did any of them take the time to look into his face and see that he was suffering?

I believe that one woman did. Her name was Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha. Mary, the woman Jesus had once lauded for knowing when to set aside the busyness of life in order to focus on His word. (Luke 10: 38-42) Mary had her priorities right, she was able to discern Jesus’ need and to reach out and touch his life.

Picture this scene. Jesus has approximately two days left to live. He is in the home of his friend Lazarus where a dinner is being given in his honor. Martha is busy in the kitchen preparing the meal. Lazarus is reclining at the table with the other male guests. Of everyone present, it is only Mary that steps out of the shadow to acknowledge what Jesus is facing. She steps forward with a pint of pure nard (expensive fragrance imported from India), pours it on Jesus’ feet and wipes his feet with her hair. The amount of fragrance used was worth a year’s wages. Judas loudly rebukes Mary for her extravagance, but Jesus defends her telling the others, “It was intended that she should save this perfume for my burial…You will not always have me with you.” (John 12: 7-8)

Only Mary had the courage to reach out and touch Jesus in his hour of need. She alone seemed to know who Jesus was and what he needed. By reaching out and touching him, she acknowledged his pain and was willing to share it. She became a balm to his wounds. Her action did not save his life, but she was able to bring some comfort to a suffering Jesus who was facing a fate that no one else understood.

This story has been on my mind this week for a reason. Two weeks ago, my precious cousin committed suicide. I have spent a great deal of time contemplating the timing of her action, killing herself on the Wednesday before Easter. Some sources that I have studied state that the anointing of Jesus by Mary occurred on the Wednesday before Easter. I can imagine that my cousin may have spent time contemplating her death and yearning for someone to reach out, touch her life, and acknowledge her pain. I believe that she wanted to be resurrected, to have a new life and to feel alive. But for whatever reason she could not go on. I imagine that, misguidedly, she felt that the only way she could resurrect her life was through death. I will never know what led to that fateful decision. But I do know this. I had an opportunity to make a difference in her life and regrettably, I did not.

I last saw my cousin about two and a half months before her death. It was at her Mother’s funeral and as I was leaving I asked to verify her phone number. She wrote the number down for me and as she handed it to me she looked me in the eye and said, “You will call, won’t you?” I told her that of course I would call and that we would get together soon for lunch or dinner. Every week after that I reminded myself that I needed to call her and promised myself that I would do so as soon as the kids were out of school, or track season was over, or ____________ (you fill in the blank). I never did call. I was too wrapped up in my own busyness to hear the desperation in her voice or see the pain in her eyes.

I understand on an intellectual level that I am not responsible for her suicide. But the fact remains that I could have made a difference in her life and I did not. Like Mary, my actions may not have changed her outcome, but my words, my touch, my companionship might have brought her some comfort. She may have felt less alone. I will forever regret that her last minutes were spent talking to a stranger on a 911 call than with someone who loved her and knew her.

I hope that you will never have the same regrets. If you know someone who is hurting, set aside your busyness, reach out to them and touch their life. And if you are the someone who is hurting, I pray that you will reach out and let someone know. I pray that someone will take the time to be a healing balm to you.

May God bless you all.

Reflection: Take a few moments and contemplate, journal, or share with another the following:

Whose hands have touched your life and brought you healing? Take the time to thank them for their act of loving kindness.

To whom can you reach out with a healing touch? Do so today. Have the courage to touch, to love and to heal. Embrace pain with compassion.

Closing: O God, move in us in a powerful way. Help us to find the words to touch the lives of others. May our actions be like a bit of oil to anoint others. May our actions help to heal their wounds. Amen.

Resources:

Sacred Journeys: A Woman's Book of Daily Prayer by Jan L. Richardson
Do What You Have the Power to Do by Helen Bruch Pearson


A note from me: I hope you will join me each week as I share some of my thoughts with you. Some weeks my thoughts may be based on something I have read in Scripture and some weeks it may be based on something else. But in the end, I hope my words may uplift you and make a difference in your life.

Your comments are welcome.